I believe everyone can be happy and fulfilled. Yes even you! In this blog post I’m going to show you the 3 foundations I believe are key to being happy and fulfilled.
Before I do, I’d like to take a moment to explore what living a happy and fulfilled life looks like. A fulfilled and happy life has good times and sad times, hard times and easy times, it isn’t a smooth ride, but a journey with bumps in the road.
The foundations of a fulfilled and happy life are self growth, self compassion and self acceptance. If you have all of those then you can have a fulfilled and happy life.
Growth is a part of being human, we continue to grow and develop throughout our lives. When I say growth, I mean personal growth, I mean developing our understanding of ourselves, our thoughts, views, and opinions about our lives.
It is this deep understanding of ourselves that enables us to live a life that is fulfilling, understanding ourselves is the foundation to knowing what we want and what we need. This understanding then leads to us connecting with our purpose, our why for our lives, and working towards this purpose is what allows us to continue our journey over the bumps in the road AND continue to feel fulfilled.
The second foundation to living a fulfilled and happy life is acceptance, self acceptance, being able to say this is me, this is who I am, yes I have flaws, yes I have strengths and in this moment I accept myself, exactly as I am. This is something so many of us struggle with - it has taken me a long time to be able to accept myself, and still there is room for improvement! Which is the other piece of acceptance, to accept that you are a “work in progress”, that although you will always have flaws, some of your flaws you’re working on AND you accept where you are, as you are - a work in progress.
Don’t be tempted to focus only on accepting your flaws, focus on your strengths too - I see you, you might even be thinking, yeah I’ve got lots of flaws, though nowhere near as many strengths! Not true! So many of us don’t acknowledge our strengths. Many women I’ve coached find it difficult to be able to see their strengths (don’t worry, I’ve got you - I can always see your strengths!). Infact, take a minute now to write down all of your strengths - and acknowledge them.
Of course accepting yourself is more than just your flaws and your strengths, it’s also about knowing and understanding yourself, that comes with your intentional personal growth. A great place to start is to download and work through this free workbook - what matters most, where you can uncover your core values.
To be able to accept yourself, exactly as you are and to continue to intentionally grow you will also need the third foundation - self compassion.
Self compassion is about loving ourselves the way we deserve to be loved. Giving ourselves that love, despite our flaws, not because we’re perfect, but because we’re worthy of being loved.
Kristen Neff is a self compassion researcher, she has a ted talk here (https://www.youtube.com/watchtime_continue=1&v=IvtZBUSplr4&feature=emb_logo) where she identifies the 3 key elements of self compassion as
An example of all three together could be saying to yourself, “It’s ok that you feel sad, other people would feel sad in this experience too, this is how you feel”
The foundations of living a fulfilled and happy life are, personal growth, knowing who you are and accepting who you are, and self compassion, being kind and non judgemental towards yourself.